"The Pill" and other sex drugs (and rock 'n roll)

I've discovered another commercial/product, that I find both retarded and pitiful. It's for a birth control device called Nuvaring, if you don't know what I'm talking about here's the commercial. Now I'm not against birth control, the less jackass people we have making babies the better. What I find stupid about the commercial is that it takes the stance that "standard" birth control (a.k.a. "The Pill"), is too much of a hassle. Seriously, come on ladies, is it really that fucking hard to remember to take something every morning. When I was a kid I used to take a Flintstones vitamin every morning, and my only motivation was "Yay! I get to pick which character I'm going to eat". Your motivation is not having a fucking kid that's going to eat up your income and free time for the next 15 years or so.

Then there's always this "yeah well the responsibility always falls on the women about birth control, if it was the guys responsibility we'd be knocked up all the time". Obviously, your the one who gets pregnant, not me, where's my motivation, I play hide the sausage for 15mins make a stain on your mattress, and my work is done. You get to walk around, turn into a human beach ball, and wake up every morning to throw up, ain't nature a bitch.

Look alright, I'm sorry you got born a woman, but don't blame me, blame nature, or your parents or your "god" (if you still believe in fairy tales). You got the side of the species equation that makes more of us, sorry, that's how shit is sometimes. Besides, if you don't wanna get knocked up, here's an easy way, DON'T FUCK, it's pretty simple, I'm sure most of you aren't bio majors, but I'm sure you understand how this shit works. If you don't want kids, then keep your guy friends out of your fun cave.

The next product making me lose faith in humanity is Enzyte for Women. This is fairly new apparently, since even a yahoo search, and a trip to Enzyte's webpage didn't yield results, so you'll just have to believe me that this is real. Basically, unlike the Enzyte for men, which is supposed to be some sort of ED (a.k.a. limp dick) pill, this Enzyte for women is supposed to be a libido booster or something. The commercial goes something like this "ladies, do you ever feel not in the mood? Ever been too tired, cranky, sick, to wanna fuck? Well then you better start popping these pills, 'cause your husbands gonna start fucking that tramp down the street if you don't start putting out more than once a month". Is this supposed to go with the old stereotypical relationship shit, the guys who want it all the time, and the women who never put out, or what? Even as a guy, there's times your really not that interested in fucking, seriously, why make the women feel like if they're not sex crazed porn stars that somehow they need some pill to get them "ready for action, RIGHT FUCKING NOW".

I'm not saying there aren't people with low sex drive, but come the fuck on, how is the opposite any better. Besides, maybe as a woman, they're not excited by the idea of sex, 'cause their partner is a lazy slob who's spends the afternoon watching "the game" and playing human garbage disposal. Jeez, what's the problem ladies? that obese sweaty blob doesn't light your candle anymore? I can't understand I'm getting hot just thinking about it. Then again, as I've said in past posts, it's the typical American mindset, of instant fixes. Everything you want can be had right now, for the low low price of $19.95, start taking these pills and next thing you know, you'll be having such awesome sex porn stars will be asking for your autograph. Pfff, give me a fucking break.

"What do you do?", and other shit

I got to thinking tonight about something that happens every once in a while that really annoys the shit out of me.

I'm not exactly a party person, I like hanging out with people for the most part, but I've never been big on the "party" side of things. Mostly because most peoples concept of "party" is, let go somewhere with a bunch of people, get so shitfaced drunk that we make assholes of ourselves, do a bunch of drugs, and fuck random people we've known for about 2 hours, that'll be fucking awesome. None of which really appeals to me at all. But what I really hate, is when I'm hanging out with people I don't know very well, and they start asking me questions like "so do you drink?", "smoke?", "take *insert drug here*?". After I answer no to about 4-5 questions of that variety I get the inevitable question of "jeez, what DO you do?". So what, since my whole life doesn't revolve around drug induced orgies and getting drunk 'till I can't stand, I apparently do nothing worth talking about. Thanks, random fuck face person I don't know, why don't you go fucking kill yourself.

It's not that I've never smoked or drank before. I'd even say I enjoy a good cigar, or a glass of decent booze, but I wouldn't say I drink or smoke if someone asked since it's nothing I do very often, and could easily live without.

Besides, no one I know considers relaxing with a glass of good booze "party drinking" anyway. It's always beer and shots of cheap nasty shit that's got tons of alcohol, costs $15, and tastes something like mixing battery acid and hobo piss. No one's even enjoying what they're drinking, it's just, "let me hammer down this fucking piss water, so I can be shitfaced like every other dumb fuck here". Also, if the party is so fucking awesome, why are you drinking so much that you'll forget 3/4's of the shit that happened.

Another thing that really bugs the shit out of me, that's somewhat related to the topic above, is girls that are too fucking loud. There's always one or two of them at every party, or bar/club, some stupid cunt who every time she opens her dick hole has to yell some random shit in her banshee going through puberty voice AS LOUD AS FUCKING POSSIBLE. And it's always about the dumbest shit, she gets a call on her cell phone and yells "OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!???" before she answers. They probably just figured out how nice it was that they can't hear your fucking loud ass voice where they're at, and are calling to see if they can get you to stay gone for good. I have a suggestion for you, Douchey Cuntington, how 'bout you shut your fucking phone off, or you could just shove that fucker right in your mouth, than you'd kill 2 birds (and hopefully yourself) with one stone.